Passing Exams and Changing the Rules

My latest article which appeared in CS3 and Weekly Worker 688:

I first opened this book in the run-up to my exams last Summer. Faced with the daunting prospect of writing about 15,000 words and taking a seemingly endless stream of exams, Bertell Ollman’s How to take an exam and remake the world (Black Rose Books) not only provided some much-needed distraction from the need to finally get my nose down to the grindstone, but also laid some of my exam-related fears and anxieties to rest.

The book does what is says on the tin, in that the reader receives tips on how to pass exams and prepare for them properly, and is simultaneously guided through a witty, insightful and scornfully critical tour of the academic world and the system of capitalist commodity production that props it up. All this is premised on a “deal” that Ollman cuts with the reader from the outset of this short yet profound masterpiece. As he himself puts it:

“What I really would like to do is to tell you about capitalism, the system by which we produce and distribute the wealth of our society, but I suspect that most of you couldn’t care less about what I have to say on this topic. Yet, you’d probably like to hear my exam advice. So: Let’s make a deal. That’s the catch.”

This implicit recognition of depoliticisation on modern campuses, and the fact that the overwhelming majority of students see ‘education’ as nothing more than merely repeating soundbites, phrases and pseudo-theories that they have rote learnt, forms the central tenet of Ollman’s book, which looks to challenge this mentality by analysing examinations in the context of wider society and social developments. No mean feat of course.

Yet Ollman is more than up to the challenge – not merely through his piercing humour and irony, but also through his to ability to quote bourgeois publications, government statistics and the eternal wisdom of politicians to expose their nonsensical theories and paradigms as nothing more than a hypocritical attempt to justify the anti-human capitalist status quo.

Ollman is particularly didactic - a revolutionary pedagogue who uses anecdotes, games, cartoons and, above all, jokes to great effect in attempting to promote critical faculties amongst his “students.” This inspires the reader to think imaginatively and transcendentally, and not to merely accept every “fact” and statistic presented to them in class at face value.

This is, in Ollman’s view, the reason why much of the palpable nonsense taught in schools and universities goes undetected by the majority of students, and also passes by the majority of society when they watch the news or read the papers. To underline this, he tells of how he would assign first-year students highly illogical tasks, which for the most part, they would subserviently carry out - at least until he pointed out that what they were doing was absurd and that they should always question what they were being taught or told to do. So freshers be warned: there may be the odd Ollman or two lurking within the depths of the stultifying British academic system. That is if your luck is in, of course!

From this basis, Ollman gradually builds up a critical analysis of the synthetic division of education into separate and often competing academic disciplines as a necessary precondition for the creation of a disciplined and “educated” labour force for the needs of capitalism. The book is beautifully structured, forcing the reader to repeatedly switch between the “micro” level of exams and their numerous shortcomings and flaws, and the “macro” level of wider capitalist society which students find themselves a part of. On a much more practical level, it also prevents the reader merely seeking exam advice from “skipping” the parts on capitalism. It seems for Ollman, a deal really is a deal.

On the way, there are short breaks for little mini-games such as the “Mind Gulag” (a test of just how your ideas are being enslaved by the myths of capitalist ideology) and, a particular favourite of mine, “Bullshit Bingo”, which has the potential to brighten up the ramblings of post-modernist lecturers and other mouthpieces of ruling class ideology. Essentially, it revolves around making a bingo grid – not of numbers, but of various vacuous platitudes such as “Free Trade”, “Consumer Sovereignty” or “Democratic Capitalism.” The otherwise bored student must now listen with pricked ears to be the first to cross them out when they are mentioned and then to shout “bullshit!” instead of “line!” or “house!”. Apparently, in America this game has increased class attendance figures, and above all brought about some bloody good games of bingo! So if you are subjected to such mental degradation, get some friends together and it’s “eyes down looking!” If there are students who still have particularly profound and thought-provoking lecturers who challenge everything, and I do realise that is a big if, then simply play the home version in front of Prime Minister’s Question Time – if nothing else, it may keep your Granny entertained!

As the designer of Class Struggle, the extremely successful Marxist parody of the board game Monopoly, Ollman is at pains to stress that capitalism in its all-encompassing totality is comparable to a game – which on account of its inherent systemic need to self-expand, is a rigged game. Addressing the reader, he says that “you never had a fair, let alone equal chance, and you won’t. ‘Equality of opportunity’ is only a designer’s label on the Emperor’s new clothes.” Through the exposition and explanation of this “dirty little secret” of capitalism, it is hoped that young people will channel the powerlessness and isolation that they feel in the dehumanising world of education into a healthy and reasoned desire to “change the rules” of life to make it, as any good game should be, fair and enjoyable.

Written neither in a patronising nor circumlocutory manner, this book patiently exposes how “merciless criticism of everything existing” - to use the words of Charlie Marx – is the only way to understand our position in society and positively fight against that injustice that we invariably come across.

The plethora of diverse media and cogent argumentation are skilfully combined to create an accessible and laugh-a-minute popular exposition of Marxism and an evocative description of the evils of capitalist life – not in a moralising “isn’t the world shit?” fashion, but in a dialectical manner - grasping the essence of education under modern capitalism as something which has evolved over time and is constantly changing – just like capitalism itself. In spite of the profound content it reads very easily and will doubtless bring a smile to both the most revolutionary and conservative of faces.

In the spirit of standardised, target-related bourgeois education that so effortlessly lampooned in this book, it culminates in a final examination question to test how closely the reader has followed their 184-page ‘lesson.’ A successful answer will prove that the reader has actually gained something from Ollman’s analysis and is starting to develop their critical faculties. A wrong answer will mean however, that the reader must start the book anew. Refreshingly though, it isn’t a particularly long question: “How many capitalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

I will not reveal the answer, because for those to whom this is not directly obvious, it is probably high time to get hold of this book. Indeed, whatever you think, or may think you think of capitalism, it is more than worth it. The experience will probably improve your grades too, and if not, it will at least, as in my experience, put the degrading experience of exam stress into a social context as a means of disciplining young people for tomorrow’s office-slavery. Surely education can mean more than this, a rewarding way of learning to change the world?

After all, as the Abbie Hoffman quote wonderfully puts it in the “Last Word” of the book: “Leave a mark on history. There may be no money in it, but it’s more exciting than studying accounting.” This book is certainly more interesting than most of the stuff you will read during the course of your studies - add it to your list of compulsory reading this year.

Benjamin Edgar Klein

www.dialecticalmarxism.com

British Tour Part 1

Finally a chance to sit down after a hectic start to my British tour and to write up some of the weird and wonderful experiences of the past days – ranging from the “Grand old Duke of York” politics of the Student Stop the War “Conference” (now a synonym for rally/collection of speeches with some discussion on the floor) and leafleting for Hands off the People Of Iran at the TUC conference in Brighton. Needless to say, there is only so much popular frontism and trade union bureaucracy that a poor young Welshman can take, so it is nice to put my feet up at the boys’ house with Band’s “Last Waltz” DVD on in the background as I write this (I will hopefully be finished before Dylan comes on stage).

As can be expected, the Student Stop the War Conference revolved around little more than a few well-known speakers telling us how, if we just built a little harder for the next demonstration and if we got a few more people onto the next march then not only will we be able to force the troops out of Iraq. After all, according to the logic of these comrades we have already forced Tony Blair out of office, and if we keep putting out the flyers and selling the papers then we will also be able to stop any attack on Iran – an increasingly likely prospect as American imperialism plunges further into crisis.

Gemma Tumelty spoke predominantly on how pleased she was that the NUS had affiliated to the STWC, Lindsey German gave her usual type of speech on the strength of the anti-war movement, and Tony Benn gave a typically witty and uplifting speech, yet failed to offer the young audience of about 60 activists anything groundbreaking or new in terms of ideas. He also fostered illusions in the UN which was well countered by Simon of Workers Power/Revo. After my last spat with Tony Benn at SYN Conference, and as he is quite old, I decided to focus my intervention on something else.

I will hopefully write a more detailed report of the conference for the Weekly Worker, but essentially I focused my intervention, as none of the panel had even mentioned it, on Iran itself.

I picked up on Lindsey German’s statement that the STWC is the “democratic expression of the international anti-war movement” highlighting that there exists an anti-war movement in Iran itself – not merely in the sense that the Iranian people have seen what has happened in Iraq and the millions of Iraqi refugees that have fled their occupied country, but also in the brave and open struggles by Iranian women, students and workers. The political problem this poses for the SWP is that these comrades are, naturally, not only opposed to war, but also to the Iranian theocracy itself. For genuine internationalists in the “international anti-war movement” it is self-evident that these people are on our side. During my intervention one female SWPer with a bundle of Socialist Worker newspapers constantly shook her head. She obviously thought that the opposition in Iran was a product of my imagination.

Dominic Kavekeb, an Iranian SWPer with a bit more sense and understanding of the reality within Iran said that there were interesting developments within Iran itself, and also that the regime was using the threat of war to clamp down on these movements. A very good point. Yet in a misrepresentation of my position, he argued that it was not up to us to “tell the Iranians what to do.” Cue enthusiastic head-nodding and support from Tony Benn and Lindsey German. In fact, establishing a genuine solidarity campaign with the Iranian people actually revolves more around some of our contacts expressing their disgust with the British anti-war left parading slogans like “We are all Hezbollah” given the record of this group in Iran and the Middle East more generally and its approach to questions of democracy and women’s rights.

Despite objections raised by the Socialist Party’s Nick Jones about merely looking to build the next demonstration rather than honestly assessing some of the failings of the STWC and its politics, Rob Owen and Colin Smith were both adamant that we were on the brink of a breakthrough and that we just had to keep on pushing. Both Nick and I received healthy applause however, and after giving out some HOPI leaflets we made one or two contacts – an interesting contact was a guy called Benjamin who had spoken about how Africa was a good example of how the corruption of small “national” dictators have led to scenarios where the people even wish to see Western intervention – something that would obviously be a disaster and that highlights how we must militate against this and also against the dictators themselves.

After a trip to the pub with some good old comrades of mine and an evening adventure through Holborn, it was off to the TUC Women’s’ Reception fringe in Brighton, where we had the pleasure of listening to Harriet Harman whilst giving out HOPI leaflets to the women there. Some good labour lefties I know locally seem to think that Harman somehow represents an opportunity for the left to advance in the party. If anybody knows how this could be possibly be the case then please get in touch – I will be all ears.

One often reads about the Trade Union bureaucracy and its crippling affect on the workers’ movement, yet this only really hits home when you see it in action, as it were. You also realise just how weak the workers’ movement is and how it is either subordinate to, or complicit in the actions of the bureaucracy.

What is even sillier is how easily these people are cajoled into pay lip-service to the Imperialist Labour Government. If I were to sell out then as a minimum I would expect a few fake passports, a helicopter, a trip to space, and tickets to every Rugby World Cup Final til I pop it, but it seems many are content with a few canapés and some free wine. Having said that, look how cheaply the SWP were bought up by Gorgeous George on Immigration Controls and the principle of a workers’ wage – I bet John Rees et al didn’t travel into space either!

The “War On Want” event we attended wasn’t exactly decadent either and resembled more of a teenage disco with a “good spread” of food than a plush gathering of the “elite” of the workers’ movement. Good chat or, heaven forbid, political discussion was also made impossible by the crap music pumping out of the speakers. The oddest event of the night was when one campaigner got up on stage to argue against the ravages of US/UK imperialism and what it has done to the people of the island of Diego Garcia – forcing them off their island to install a military base crucial to the plans of US imperialism – signed and sealed by the Wilson government! She spoke well and rightly received healthy applause, but this was a rather strange reaction from those in the room, who would all, whether in the CPB or Socialist Action, advocate a Labour Party vote and thus their actions in the imperialist world order.

I did however bump into Gemma Tumelty, who congratulated me on my speech at the STWC conference. I was touched, gave her a HOPI leaflet and even got her business card. She did however mistake me for an AWLer, which was surprising as I underlined in my speech that (a) democracy cannot come from above (b) occupation is the worst crime and (c) we should have no illusions in the project of an American Imperialism in decline seeking to promote democracy and freedom in the Middle East. Never mind, I shall definitely chase her up to see what she thinks about HOPI.

Right, Dylan is on, and I am tired after spending all day on the train and am even more tired given the prospect of doing so again tomorrow for some Freshers’ Fairs in Scotland in the next few days.

Oh, and I missed the ITV News tonight, but if Nick Robinson was plugging HOPI in his slot on the TUC then you know who to thank. I somehow doubt it though…..